Twists and turns.

I have been living in North Carolina for over a year now.  I hated it at first, mostly because I didn't know anybody which only lead me to isolate myself even more.  Though admittedly it was nice to be in a metropolitan area, surrounded by universities and museums, movie theaters and Starbucks (or Panera if I was in the mood).

I finally decided last spring that it was time to come out of my shell and meet people.  I did what I thought was unthinkable at the time and invited myself over to someone's house to take photos of her kids.  We ended up becoming close friends.  It's nice to know that I'm one of the first people she calls when she wants to hang out.  I've never really had close girlfriends before...  well let me digress... NORMAL girlfriends before... women who don't have weird hang ups or are excessively needy.  

Then with all the things happening at the gym, I am starting to feel like I finally have my own thing going that has nothing to do with kids.  Not that I don't love my kids or relish the time I spend with them, but I feel as though I appreciate and enjoy those times even more now that I have something to call my very own.  Granted, I can't really live off of what I make as a fitness instructor, but there are certainly perks:  the obvious health benefits, free daycare, free gym membership, and of course the endless networking possibilities.  It has truly been a great way to meet new people and promote my photography.

So I think it was reasonable for me to fly off the handle when Nick called me the other day with his news:  his old boss from Chicago had been interviewing people for a VP position at the American Medical Association.  After 6 months, she hadn't found any potential candidates but she thinks he'd be a perfect fit.  Basically the job is his if he chooses to take it.  That's great for him...  given today's economy.  Not to mention, his company will probably be bought out next year.  He will either be laid off or be required to relocate to Pennsylvania.

Well, when I got over my little hissy fit (or really, not so little hissy fit, for I really did not appreciate his expectation that I'd HAVE to move where he goes because we have children together), I have given this some thought.  Moving back to Chicago certainly will have its benefits because we know people there.  However, I made it clear to him that he needs to understand how this will impact me.  Since I have the kids full time, it will be a challenge to get settled once again.  Of course it will be easier since we know people there already, therefore things like finding a new pediatrician or where the nearest Super Target is located will not be an issue.  But gosh, the thought of starting all over again.  I don't like that.  And I especially will not like it if he puts pressure on me to get my own thing going again.  I don't think he quite understands how much of a challenge that is for me - kids or no kids.

Currently I am already scheduled to teach 5 days a week starting January.  Technically I'm not suppose to be on the schedule because my certification hasn't gone through.  I signed up to train for another program called BodyFLOW in a couple of weeks, which allow me to teach more classes since the program can be taught every day, and I have already been given a Saturday mornng class starting January.  The only reason why this was made possible is because I've become close friends with the group fitness manager for all the North Carolina Lifestyle Family Fitness gyms.  Plus my availability for daytime weekday classes has made me fairly valuable (well, in addition to being physically able to actually teach these programs).

Anyway, it's all re-doable, of course.  It's just that I have been making HUGE efforts the past several months to do something with myself that I actually like doing.  So many great things have happened as a result, and I'm pretty pleased with the way things have been going.

Well, minus the romantic aspect.  Though the difference now is I no longer feel like I NEED someone.  I'm perfectly happy doing my own thing, having my own schedule, my own life.  I no longer worry about getting things done after the kids go to bed, whether it's laundry or cleaning or catching up with emails and the latest goings on via the Internet.  Life just seems more simple like this. 

Every night I go to bed with Isabella snuggled up next to me.  This reminds me of what the best things in my life are at this moment.  And life is pretty good when I let it be this uncomplicated.